Newly Divorced - Explaining the Dating Scene

Each person's dating situtation is different, the dating scene can be quite intimidating for a person who is newly divorced. If you are trying to explain the joys and challenges of being a single person you will want to make known the following points as discussed below.

Appear confident: Help your friend in the area of personal grooming and hygiene. Encourage him or her to shave, get a haircut, go to the gym, or start a new hobby. Whatever help you can give your friend (as long as your friend wants the help) does it. In the long run your friend will be grateful.

Try not to put out too soon: Those who have been married before may be in an extremely vulnerable position. They are used to having someone there, and having someone to touch and hold. Therefore, they may end up seeking the physical affection every available single. Having sex with too many people is risky and will most likely cause your friend more pain than it is worth.

Don’t be too clingy: Those who are married may end up being clingy when they meet someone new. This may be because they are looking to fill the void that is there from the previous person now being gone. If your friend is getting too emotionally attached too quickly you may want to advise him or her to try to slow it down out there. Also explain to your friend that they will not want to make a decision right away about who to date too soon, because it may not be the right person. Encourage your friend to take time to look around for a while before settling on one person again.

For women (and some guys): Don’t push marriage too soon. The speed of every relationship is very different, so there is really no set time to start considering marrying someone. However, you are advised not to suggest it to the person you are with until after several months have passed. This doesn’t mean that you cannot talk about marriage in general, or what you would want in a relationship. Those things should be discussed as early as possible. However, be careful about appearing too needy and expecting a guy to propose after only a few months. This is true for guys as well, who sometimes want to get married quickly because they are sick of being alone.

For men: Try not to sleep with women out of desperation or a quick fix. Someone usually always gets hurt-either you or them. Try to limit the number of sexual partners you have after a divorce, especially if you hope to have a new solid relationship in the future.

Find healthy ways to meet people: You can introduce your single again friend to all the best social clubs, respectable bars, coffee shops, and community centers. At these places you can mingle, have a drink, or even do community service. Sometimes you can find people who want to get together to make up a sports’ team as well.

Be careful who you bring home to your kids: If you have ever had any bad experiences with bringing your dates home to meet your children your newly single friend can learn from it. Advise your just-divorced friend to observe his or her date very carefully. Note any signs of drug or alcohol abuse, inappropriate sexual behavior, or put-downs towards your children. Hopefully this behavior can be caught before your friend brings home a date. However, people can hide their true colors for quite awhile. Therefore, try to use caution. If you want even a greater piece of mind you can do a background check on your date.

Be careful when you give your friend advice, however, and remember also that your friend is an adult. You also need to give your friend room to make his or her choices in life, even if they are ones you do not agree with. If your friend welcomes your advice you can continue to give it. If not, it is better to keep your mouth shut.